…That I once Wrote a book?
A long time ago I experienced one of the most incredible therapy periods of my life.
As a sober man I have learned that life is a process of making mistakes and learning from them. In every life we will experience the “problems” that plague, frustrate and emotionally stunt. One of my greatest lessons was in understanding that roadblocks are places to grow, change and develop one’s character, wisdom and maturity.
Naturally that doesn’t mean that I am always taking this to heart. When one is in the “problem” it is not as easy to be understanding or open to the point that it will help you grow. More than not the ability to find one’s ZEN with the process will happen after the fact when reaching the other side. But with practice and patience it has become possible for me to look into the beast (at times) and gather myself to make the proper and noble attempts to unburden myself from the grip they seem to always have on me.
What I learned first and foremost was that awareness of a “problem” was (and is) the most vital step towards solution. Keeping the mind open to be willing to change, be uncomfortable and go places that you fear becomes the path that will inevitably lead to the result. Making sure that you do not try to hold the power to what that result will be is the key to (possibly) finding the solution a bit quicker.
At least this has been my experience.
For years I solved my problems by eliminating them quickly with my personal fixes. Sure, that works…. but in the end the problem is there waiting for you again. Always. That is not a solution, it is an avoidance. I was very good at that and still can be on certain days. I have had to hit the wall on many different pieces of my puzzle simply because I did not want to “deal” with the issue at hand. We all have a tendency to hope and wish that it will just go away… whatever it may be. If I ignore it…
As I started to learn more about my habits I found myself writing (my original blog in the days before the word blog existed) about the every day foibles, trials and tribulations of a man trying to improve himself and the world around him. It was fun, it was informative (at the very least to me) and it was an outstanding exercise that allowed me to listen to what I was thinking… and work through the things that I would have otherwise avoided.
In 2000 I decided I would put some of these experiences into book form. In my mind’s eye I saw the process and end result as something that would afford me a very long and structured therapy session coupled with a great distraction from obsessing on the problems that were hovering around me. I took the challenge and began to write.
The result was a “self help” styled book that explained how I worked through 100 different types of life situations as a sober man. The idea being that would look at things that are a part of each of our lives and speak of my experience in what could be done with a focus on solution. So often we dwell on the problem (personally I believe that many stay there because it is addictive… and could even be “comfortable”, odd as that sounds.)
When I look back on that period of my life I am taken with pride and accomplishment. The book was never published, although I did make a few attempts to find a publisher with a good friend who has supported me for years. It was never my intention to write for publication. It was, as previously stated, an effort of therapy, growth, recognition of myself and just practice in something I love dearly… writing.
Solutions: Character Changing and Maintenance in the School of Experience was completed in 2001. I am happy to say that I can go back and read it chapter by chapter and relearn some of these valuable experiences as I continue to grow.
I’m happier when I look to the solution.
Be Happy. Be Well. Be.
June 9th, 2009 at 2:47 pm
I thought for a moment that you were going to say you’re the author of the famous ‘Living Sober’…I know that was written by a gay man…anyway your book sounds like a great tool. As you know I find writing therapeutic too. I’m in the process of writing my memoir at the moment – though some of the excitement is taken away by knowing what happens in the end, it’s really interesting to look at my life from a writer’s point of view. Arranging events and stories into patterns and categories, highlighting the themes that were never obvious at the time, it is a bit like a very long therapy session. So in other words, I get what you’re saying.