…That I have a new mantra?
It is always good to develop a mantra to help in the aid of a new process.
I have discovered that the central susceptibility to self will is environment. What we are around… listening to, reading, experiencing can be detrimental if allowed towards a sense of spiritual comfort and peace. Subconsciously the human mind can easily fall into habits that will be less than fruitful in desired results… even if something is telling us to repeat behavior to achieve the things we are looking for.
As contrived as that sounds, I have discovered that I am a creature of habit and that, if I am in the right motivation and committed focus, I can change absolutely anything about my nature or behavior to feel and actually be better. This is no easy task… and can be somewhat frustrating when one’s awareness points out the fallibility of a “bad” habit or habits during a transitional phase.
I remember a period of my life when I was told that I reacted to everything. Granted, reaction is normal… but my reactions were of the defensive variety. It was a magical moment in my development as a human because I recall knowing that I couldn’t “react” to that being told to me. I was sort of “busted” and it became a place where I knew that there was not only a change needed, but that I had absolutely every faith in myself to make it.
The result of that period of my life was nothing less than astounding. I learned that any part of me was built in habit and that if a habit is created it can be UN-created. I worked for weeks and months in “arresting” behavior as it was happening until the point in time that the habit had been broken and another put in its place. I had literally become a different person. It became the consistent model for my behavior and the result was in how I felt about myself and how others perceived and reacted to me.
Done deal? Not necessarily. Anything that we do for ourselves must be maintained. How we are as humans, our behavior and our interaction to the world around us is a lot like a diet. Things must be maintained and perfected. They must be treated and nurtured. I have not reverted to the person I was all those years ago, because I have matured and evolved through time and the habits that were created. By that same token, however, I have put a bit of that reactive “weight” back on. The environment, my ego, pieces of overwhelm or faitgue… or any other variety of environmental stimuli have resulted in a return of some behaviors that I am suddenly awakening to.
What points this out? Ask yourself how you feel. Are you happy? Is everything all right? Are you constantly striving for things that you believe you are either owed or somehow deserve? Do you resent and feel frustrated when things are not going “your way”? This is all signs of self-will. With a full-on self will I find myself in a place that is less than desirable when, in fact, I have nothing but desirable things in my life. Even if there is something that isn’t what it could be… I must understand that there might be a reason that it is where it is. John Lennon said that “Life is what happens when you’re busy making other plans.” My point is that the more I design what I feel should be the more I find myself in places of discontent because my will is not being met.
I suppose the real question is whether or not the will I am projecting is the right will at all. In surrender I am looking at the world moment by moment and seeing what is in front of me more with quizzical eyes… and less with the fear and defense view. When I have taken down the walls in the past I have noticed that there is a much wider area to move into. In that area I have discovered opportunities, people, places and hidden joys that I would not have otherwise encountered. I ask myself why I wouldn’t accept that sort of outlook without question. It is Mark nature (I’d claim it as human but I can only speak to my own experience) to internalize the way I see things and crave response and communication. Without it I am prone to self-prophesy… and fear dictates answers that are rarely ever the truth of the situation.
Again… the question would arise as to why a soul would continue down that sort of path knowing the differences it pays off? I don’t know. If I knew this I would bottle it up and sell it. I cannot dwell on the why… I must look at the nuts and bolts of the healthy spiritual diet I require to enjoy the experience I am to have on a daily basis. I want to live.. the trudging takes a lot out of me and I get very, very tired.
So… to the mantra. This morning I found myself in the beginning phases of a rebirth of my nature. In it I knew that I must train myself to recognize the behaviors that I had adopted and arrest them when I am performing them. It would be naive for me to believe that the mere desire to change a habit would be the only thing necessary. Instead I am committed to the work ahead….and the recognition of “problem” to be replaced with solution as quickly as possible in every single situation. One of the first things out of my mouth as I encountered my first negative “reaction” this morning was “It doesn’t matter.”
It doesn’t matter.
To the naysayer: It is not a complete submission to the world around me. Naturally some things DO matter. I am adult (and astute) enough to recognize the difference between what is a negative reaction and something that deserves the attention of a response. Where it is dragging me to a level that is less than what I expect is necessary it simply doesn’t matter. Where it doesn’t matter it is best to remind myself through mantra that it does not require any further thought or action, which is the very place that the inner-wheels start to turn and create the reactions, frustrations, fear and problems. If it is repeated throughout my day the success is amazing. As the days go by I am fortunate if the need for the mantra is decreasing. Eventually (and I know this from experience) I am not picking apart the universe to suit my will anywhere near as much as I had been doing and the habit is in full effective change.
The result is change. All around me things are different, inside and out.
The project is effective. The mantra is harmless and honest. The results through the weeks and months ahead will be posted here.
Be Happy. Be Well. Be.