…That detachment is a step in surrender?
Being all consumed in anything is not conducive to happiness.
This is a lesson that is often learned on the other side of a situation. It is akin to awareness of addictive behavior and can be the direct result of the surrender. Detachment is release and renewal of priority and focus, but should not be necessarily dealt with in an all or nothing methodology. In other words: if a full detachment is required (such as it would be for the recovery from an addictive behavior) it is understood… but it could also be said for other forms of psychic change, such as what I am prescribing and working through myself, detachment before the crash could prevent the crash itself.
Let me explain.
For one thing… I am not a doctor or a psychologist. But I do know what has and has not worked for me in the past. As a recovering alcoholic and drug addict I can attest to the need for absolute detachment from the sources of the problem as well as from the “solutions” I used prior to sobriety. This means that I could not have moved through sobriety (especially in the beginning) without completely stopping the drugs and alcohol as well as the environments, relationships and motives for doing them in the first place.
But addictive behavior takes many forms. For me it has been replaced time and time again in so many different ways that I can only do myself the favor of recognizing the personality that lends to the behavior and taking on the challenges to resolve them on the day to day basis that is vital to remaining cognizant to the moment. The second I set my mind to trying to fix anything forever is the second that I am setting myself up for a failure. For any challenge, be it addictive or otherwise, the best result is obtained by the awareness of what can be learned by following the path all the way through from beginning to end… and that includes every pothole and problem, stop-gap and mistake that is made on the way.
That doesn’t sound like a hell of a lot of fun as it is happening. But the fact remains that the process fully explored is the process that will most likely eventually succeed. Any time I have allowed myself the short cut or the “quick fix” I am not solving anything that will not show up again requiring attention. To surrender effectively one must acknowledge that there will always be “relapses” of the mind and body. I am not guaranteed that my commitment will not result in moments of behavior that have been part of the “problem” all along. All I can do is commit to recognizing what I am up against so that I can do the work to “arrest” the situation as many times as it takes. Success means feeling better and learning that the habits can be changed. Success means embracing the journey and knowing down the road the surrender will be natural and flowing. It will be a part of the process rather than that thing you must do to stop a “habit” that is no longer working.
So what of detachment? How does that fit into the surrender as an answer where 100% is not an option?
My life has shown me many glorious opportunities. As a result of the same type of personality trait that would send me into over-indulgent states for the wrong reasons I have also found myself, at times, pushing the necessary limits on things that would not be considered as bad. Work, as a prime example, is a place that I have thrown myself into so completely that I have to take a step backwards and recognize that a lot of what I am dealing with in the need for surrender (as well as the refocus of priority in life) is because I am once again in over-indulgence. Detachment in this sort of situation would only require that I make myself aware of the lines that need to be drawn to recognize and honor the balance in my life. Balance is key to happiness. Detachment is key to balance.
What I do in any part of my life can be done 100% with all of my commitment without having to be OVER-done. By “detaching” myself from becoming any part of my life 24/7 I am doing myself the honor of aiding the balance and surrender I am working towards to effectively change. The habits I have created such as working whenever it is presented to me… at all hours, staying later in the office than necessary and checking in on things when it is not required is part of the process that has resulted in my being overwhelmed resulting in the need to react to everything and affect my self-will throughout all pieces of the very large puzzle.
Every personality is multi-faceted. My theory is many of us gravitate towards parts of our personality while leaving other parts vacant and unused. By opening (or re-opening) up the horizon once again I am going to see a bigger world, feel a lot more of the positives I strive for and rationally decide to allow the proper path to reveal itself in front of me.
If something is overwhelming it is important to detach. It is not necessary to do so fully… just detach honestly where possible and as needed. The likelihood is you will find yourself more effective with whatever it is that is overwhelming with a little bit of rationality, rest, and balance.
Be Happy. Be Well. Be.