…That it is time to change my attitude?
Often when things aren’t looking the way you believe they should… a shift is in order.
And often it is human nature (or perhaps just mine?) to assume that changes that seem required are tangible and physical. Persons, places or things must be moved, dressed up, forgotten or thrown away. Everything on the outside is the root of whatever ailment or problem I am experiencing… instead of a trap or line of thinking that I have made into a habit.
If there is anything I have learned over the years it is that a habit can be created and as such can also be UN-created. So I must ask myself: what habit is it that I want to discontinue and how is it that I can accomplish this goal without banging my head repeatedly against a wall?
Awareness.
Unfortunately the times where I am tuned into every little thought and reaction are the times that are possibly the most frustrating in my moment by moment existence, perhaps the hardest to handle in living in the now. Fortunately they are also the most amazing growth experiences for me. In each of these periods I am ultra aware of my own behavior and patterns as well as those around me. I learn how people tick and when they are crossing lines that I don’t need to adhere to. Changing habits does not mean that I am forced to become a doormat, simply accepting everything that is put in front of me. Quite the opposite. Instead what it aids me in doing is to be ultra observant about the things that I may be misinterpreting or hold pre-judgments for. It shows me where fear is pushing me into defense. It is designing a new way for me to think that allows for me to completely open my mind and review the changes that are being presented for what they actually are. Most changes are nothing more than a different path, most paths are not only safe but could possibly be better for those taking the walk.
I want to see the things I fear differently and thus I must slowly examine every single thing that is put into my sphere in order to know the proper way to proceed. Most importantly… even if the fear is still within me… the defense is still strong… I am not to allow the world around me to see a reaction (that would be the habit.) Body language and instantaneous answers are giveaways to responses that are ultimately unnecessary. Most everything that I find myself in fear of I will later determine to be somewhat challenging and possibly beneficial. If I can benefit from anything it stands to reason that I would be best off in taking that path. The fact is when first hearing anything, I am not going to be able to know whether I will not benefit.
And the bottom line in my experience is that not everything is about benefit after all. I am here to learn and grow. If there are things that are offered or removed they are done so as a part of my experience. I must and will trust that to be the path(s) I am intended to be on.
In the end I must remember that any reaction, any fear that I am feeling is ultimately only hurting me. There is nothing in this world that I absolutely must do (with the exception of my eventual death.) I have choices. If I am to evaluate a situation and it is something that I don’t want to take in as part of my experience I can choose to opt out. But to “know” that something is not for me without thinking and evaluating is taking a larger risk than necessary. The greatest possibilities are out there and awareness and patience will show me the way to go.
Thus is the attitude I am adopting. I have been there before and I will revisit it again. It is an exercise that helps and I am well aware that the best help I can get towards the goals I pursue are within me… and not around me.
Onwards. I am ready to go.
Be Happy. Be Well. Be.