…That sometimes you can create a different story?
If we can have an alternate universe why not create a different story where you don’t like the one being told?
Wait a minute… we can have an alternate universe?
Moving back to today’s topic: I started a class today that focuses on the balance of work and life. Ways and means to work with your nutrition, health and well-being. This was right up my alley. The truth is (and if you read any of my blogs you can attest to this) I am forever on the search for improvement. That may actually be my main calling in life. There would seem to always be a different way to do things to be happier, healthier and more fulfilled. A class like this is a spin that speaks my language… it deals with the positive solutions that are alive, well and living all around us. It take only a willing and AWARE soul to recognize, practice and create the habits (nay… rituals) that provide a firm, positive result.
Well that was a mouthful…. and I still haven’t started to talk about the creation of a different story. Let’s begin.
Today in class there was a concept that was introduced that I felt was very intriguing. It isn’t necessarily original.. but sometimes logic in a new presentation can trump what we already feel we know as a practical solution to some of life’s problems whether big or small.
What was suggested was the following: when confronted with a situation that isn’t to your liking it seems likely that we can create a new, different and alternate “story” as to why whatever this problem is has occurred… even if it is on-going. If someone has cut you off in traffic we already create an alternate story to the obvious by flipping them off and assuming in our heart of hearts that they are an “asshole”. Granted in a simple situation such as this it is entirely possible that the story you’ve created (as an alternate to someone who simply may have made a mis-calculated decision and cut you off to make their turn) could be true. Maybe they actually are an asshole. OR…. could it be that they had someone in the car that was desperately in need of a hospital? A pregnant wife? A person having a heart attack? What if the person driving the car was in trouble themselves and the only way to get off the road was to cut you off?
Then there are the more complex situations. What if someone in your life is giving you some form of grief or simply not treating you with the respect that you feel is deserved? What if for some reason you do not feel valued? The first thing I would consider is your motivation and ego. Is this something you expect that may not be either deserved or… perhaps is an over-extended expectation? Putting that aside and figuring out that there actually is something amiss about the behavior of the other person… we, on the receiving end, can jump to some very angry conclusions. “They are not doing whatever they are supposed to be doing correctly.” “They are inept or not capable.” In these situations they become the bad guys and we are the martyrs or victims.
That truly doesn’t work for anyone.
Solution? Let’s just say that even though there are some pretty heinous people out there in the world who probably don’t give a rats ass about us or what we deserve… some are not as bad as we may be thinking. Most are just in their own experience and undoubtedly somewhat oblivious to anything other than that. What if we created a story in the vein of putting ourselves in their shoes and looking at the situation from a completely different pair of eyes: theirs. What is the motivation for perpetration on our character and livelihood? (ok… a little dramatic license added there…) My guess is the alternate story could be one of insecurity… inexperience… and overwhelm. In that sort of story I see a more sympathetic character. In it I see the friend that I originally knew, and a situation that will more than likely change again, as I seem to feel it has done to get to this point.
I like that story so much better that I believe I will use it as my script.
Now… tomorrow as I move into the world with a new pair of eyes… (washed of any of the negatives that I had harbored the day before…) I am going to look at the people around me with the respect they deserve. If I offer it I am more than likely going to receive it back. This is an answer I can and will build as a habit in the days and months ahead.
Why not. It’s better than looking for a problem.
Be Happy. Be Well. Be.