…That I see a spirit of compromise?
Remember this mantra: “It doesn’t Matter.”
Now you may ask… what does my mantra have to do with the spirit of compromise? You may also be asking how I could look at the world with what would appear to be an apathetic attitude. I will answer both of these questions in a moment. Suffice it to say for me they most definitely work in tandem and, in my experience, very well.
To many people compromise can either mean losing or possibly just “not winning.” And for some to say “It doesn’t matter” runs against the very fabric of the caring society that is strived for. If it doesn’t matter it would naturally mean that one does not care, right?
Wrong on both assessments… at least wrong for me.
When life is black and white for me I am often not in the best of spirits. Black and white indicates a structure that holds me into it’s framework. It is not malleable or flexible. I am not allowing myself to see things from more than just one angle or perspective. What that provides, more than often, is personal struggle. It means that I am not always going to like what I see happening or what it is I am doing. Granted even with the addition of compromise there is no guarantee that I am going to like the process or the result… but the ratio of “enjoyment” or one’s ability to learn something or change the way things are viewed is much larger.
For me compromise is essential. I have to look at the world in front of me and all the plethora of changes it offers with a modicum of elasticity. I need to bend and grow and understand that comfort zones, however well earned and appreciated, are often not the best arenas for growth and life education… and no matter how much one loves said comfort zone.. it is bound to end one way or the other at some point no matter how comfortable it is. If my mind is open to the changes around me and I am of the mind that I can “compromise” what I feel is “right or wrong” or even step into something that I don’t want to do with a compromising spirit I am undoubtedly going to win in many more ways than I would with a closed mind.
If I am willing to live with the benefit of the doubt and grow personally whether I am growing in other ways (initally), than compromise is a sure-fire way to expand horizons and see the world, a relationship or a job through different eyes and options. NO, they don’t always work… but the experience is the treasure. If I do something and it doesn’t work I can be happy knowing I have tried. If I don’t do it because I just won’t… I am living within that aforementioned walled structure and missing opportunities.
And even the opportunities that fail are eventually something that allows us to grow and find better all around life experience down the road.
As for the mantra “It doesn’t matter”… I will explain it this way: how often do we make a mountain out of a molehill? How many times have we found ourselves angry about something or someone that has absolutely nothing to do with us? For me it is about making sure that I don’t become to passionately involved with something to the point of taking things personally (one of The Four Agreements is “Don’t take anything personally”) Just because people say things with conviction and relative sincerity… it doesn’t make it true. Just because people are disagreeing or even trying to make things more difficult in our perception, this is not a reason to allow it to become our burden or take it on as a personal weight on the shoulders. The fact is it really does not matter.
Again… I know there are things that really DO matter. I do not for a moment want to claim that nothing ever matters. I think people like me are able to discern the difference between what really DOES matter and what is something that we are taking too much stock in and allowing too much space in our heads and our lives. There is a difference between what does matter and what does not. Stop, breathe and think for a moment before you make it the issue it can become. Understand that many, many, many things are created solely as a point in our heads to be right. It is that old “black and white” philosophy I illustrated earlier. Open your mind and know that if it is getting to you and it isn’t about the most important things in your life, it just does not matter.
On the road to a goal of happiness, these are tools that work. I have that experience.
Be Happy. Be Well. Be.