…That I am always going to be chasing the Zebra?
Recognition and validation can be a beautiful sedative.
Sedative may be an interesting choice of words for an alcoholic soul who has, very fortunately, spent the last 7000 days without the use of alcohol or drugs to plug up the holes, chase away the demons, quiet the voices or stifle the isolation and loneliness. It works. Even as a sober man I have to remember the methods and means by which I am able to build the proper relationships that will help me to think straight and know the direction I must turn to find and implement solutions that will bring me the shades of peace and purpose I know that I was placed into this body and assigned this soul to fulfill.
So what is sedating about recognition and validation? It reminds a terminally unique and possibly lonely individual that he (or she) is not alone. Recognition is the reminder that there is someone out there who is speaking your language. You see in them what you understand within yourself. It could be argued that validation is the very same thing. I suppose that I combine the two as one because I must first recognize the similarities to make the connection that will allow me to feel the validation.
Tonight I heard a man speak that would seemingly be unrecognizable to me and the life that I live. But this is the magic of listening and learning. One never really knows where the recognition and validation will come from. We sell ourselves short by assuming that there is nothing to offer in a message simply because of the way it is packaged or delivered. The key is in your own willingness and the ability to stop and really hear. We can all listen but if you hear you will learn and grow. I’d be willing to bet that it is possible to do both within anything delivered… even the messages that we do not agree with.
Tonight Bill spoke of chasing the zebra. This is something that I instantly recognized and related to. This is the life long search for that something that is better than where I am, who I am, what I do, who I do it with… that piece of hope and that modicum of faith that I am on the verge of… just around the corner from and ultimately destined for something ELSE.
Granted I rarely really know what the “zebra” is or what it would be or mean if I were to find it (thus bringing into focus whether I am actually chasing something better or simply unable to look at what there is in the present.) What if the Zebra was caught? Would I stop? Would there be recognition of the accomplishment and a happy ever after? This is unlikely within the pattern that I have uncovered, discovered and will hopefully someday be able to discard. The truth in every day of my life truly is that I found my Zebra years and years ago. I am sitting on it. I have everything that I am supposed to have and I am fortunate beyond belief to have it.
Do I know that on a daily basis? Of course not. But what I do know is that I have the tools at my grasp to rise to the challenge of awareness and response to how I will deal with the moments and challenges where I begin to believe once again that it is necessary to start the chase all over.
If you are out there and there are feelings of isolation, confusion, loneliness, depression, and most definitely FEAR… there are ways to stop the chasing (or hiding) and to start to recognize and feel validation. Stop. Perhaps it is time to rest and give yourself that break.
Be Happy. Be Well. Be.