…That I shouldn’t create the problem…?
I have an active imagination.
What I don’t always have is control over where that imagination is going… or the places it can take me. What’s ironic is that as a normal alcoholic born and active in the world of “isms”… I am in default mode when trying to seize control of the world around me. So why, I would wonder, is it that I seem to need to be in control when control is something that seems to always provide a path towards isolation and problems?
A conundrum indeed.
My imagination is part of my charm. Creativity breeds beauty and strengths in my world that thrives on art, music and words. As a Pisces I enjoy the company of make-believe, fantasy and the ability to “check out” if need be (and over the years there have been numerous ways for me to do just that.)
So where does the creative mind cross the road into dangerous territory? When it starts to build the illusions that might be considered laced with paranoia, or simply putting together the perceived ‘reason,’ answer or solution for any of the world’s many questions (or slights.) Mine is a complex mind. It is actually no wonder that I drank and used drugs in earlier years…. they would shut up the over-active thinking and creation of ‘resolution’ where I was not able to find it.
Patience is not one of my stronger virtues.
So what’s my point? It’s really pretty simple. I have a pretty amazing life. I work hard on a daily basis to establish a relationship and trust with a God that I only need know is stronger, more capable and better at solutions than myself…. I am proof that the world does provide better ways for people who genuinely want them and work hard towards the goals (knowing full well that there is no straight, easy path and that sometimes failure IS the solution that will lead to the better way.) If I want to maintain that better life. If I want to look at the gifts and good fortune that my life encompasses I need only do just that. Stop. Breathe. Look. Listen. LEARN that the world around me is mine if I want it and I am a true gift within it.
The trick? Not trying to seize that control. Not trying to solve every puzzle the moment it is presented to me. Not feeling as though every single thing requires and answer, a solution or an explanation.
… and not creating all of the above, which, in turn, creates a problem what would otherwise not have existed.
Awareness is my friend. Trust in God’s control is my solution.
Be Well. Be Happy. Be.