I have often stated that half the fun of the traveling I do is the planning stages.  Considering most of what I consider the way I want to spend the rest of my life involves travel… one would have to understand how happy the idea of the list could end up being.

But this is no bar stool promise.  I am not eyeballing the things on my list as a fantasy alone.  There is every reason to believe my intentions to fulfill each and every one of these goals is feasible and probable.  Many of the things I have added to the list in the past have been done.  Many more will be accomplished.  The trick to recognizing what is realistic is not to set the expectation but only the promise or intent.  I will do these things but I will do them when my path allows and fits them.  When that time arrives I am going to gladly step into the role and situation, enjoy the hell out of it and then sit down and update the list.

It is hardly surprising that I am putting travel destinations the highest on my list of things to accomplish and enjoy.  London (starting with my umpteenth journey on December 19th is a must at least once, possibly twice per year.  Europe remains the highest of desires, including a trip to Mykonos, Greece; Budapest, Sicily, Berlin, Roma, Florence, Moscow and Nice.  I want to re-visit Amsterdam, Paris, Edinburgh, Dublin, Prague, Brussels, Vienna, Copenhagen…

In the rest of the world I want to see and experience Bangkok, Thailand, Cairo and the Pyramids, South Africa, Hong Kong, a second trip to Tokyo and Rio de Janeiro and New Zealand.

Oh… and I should probably go to Hawaii one day.  I’ve actually never been.

Also on the list are some concrete accomplishments to be done while traveling… or while at home (wherever the future decides that should be.)  For one thing I plan on being a published author.  I will also create and write for a television series (at least one.)  I plan on teaching myself daily and learning web design and video editing (something I did in the 80′s and had an incredible knack for…)  I plan on running a marathon and jumping out of an airplane (cliche… I know) and as if the travels I want to do on my own were not enough I plan on being a contestant in a team competing on Amazing Race.  I love a good challenge.

Whatever I do, wherever I do it and however it gets done the bottom line is that it makes me happy.  That would be the point of a bucket list.  What do I want to do?  What will fulfill me?  What makes me happy when I think about it?

I know.  More tattoos.

For today I am going to concentrate on the writing, the thinking and the planning.  I am going to find some amazing things as I move forward.  Some I may not have thought of and added to the list.  That’s icing on a very big, rich and delicious cake.

Be Happy.  Be Well.  Be.

There are pieces of life that sometimes seem to repeat themselves over and over and over. When this happens a multitude of questions will fill my head and invariably my notebook journal as I work feverishly through the ongoing classroom that is my life.

“What is wrong with these people?” “Why is this happening to me?” “When is this going to stop?”

Sound familiar? Here are the answers: Nothing. It isn’t. When you are ready.

Life is filled with challenges. For everyone. I don’t have an exclusivity in that department. Fear (which I learned long ago was False Evidence Appearing Real) is prevalent when we aren’t in sync or balance. If I am experiencing overwhelm, lack of sleep, too much work and not enough play, a loss of communication or any beginning or advanced loss of personal esteem… I am in trouble and in line to feel the need to defend myself from all of life’s slings and arrows. In certain places and periods they are many. This month, in particular is filled with potential problems.

One key, however, is in the word “potential”. I have learned that I am able to change the outcome of many things even if the appearance or reality of what they are is the same as a problem in the past. I have learned many times that it is not about what is happening, or what is being said or done. It is, instead, about my reaction to it. If I am going to be a victim, a martyr or just a man in resentment or anger, the problem is not only there… but it infests my personality and my life. THAT is where the real disease takes hold. That is where the problem becomes mine alone to handle.

Another key (and perhaps the light bulb moment I experienced) is in realizing the FACT that problems are doomed to be repeated until we work through them and solve them once and for all. Granted, I am always going to be aware that the “problem” itself does not necessarily go away… but the way I see it, hear it, deal with it and resolve it can change and create an entirely new perception of the issues for the future.

What does this mean? In short… if I am going to SOLVE a problem or beat a challenge… I must work through it properly. Fighting my way through it in anger or resentment is blindly dealing with life. If I don’t resolve the reasons that it appears or feels like a problem in the first place I am not solving anything at all. I may get to Z from A… but I am often not sure how I got there or why. I may feel a sense of relief from its completion but there is no real sense of “peace” for its accomplishment because somewhere deep inside I know it is only going to come back and bite me again.

For SO long I have been talking about the need to “change the chapter” in my life. There is nothing wrong with the chapter I am in… but there are times when it feels that it has gone on too long. Life is short and I have had my share of interesting chapters… I suppose I don’t want to spend TOO much time in this one. But part of me has become completely aware of a personal rule that sees too much pattern in how I behave, respond and AM. If I am not resolving the challenges in front of me I am doomed, or re-challenged to repeat them over and over again. This would not bode well for a person who wants to flip the page to an entirely different part of my life. If it were grade school… it would be akin to being held back until you “get” what you are there to learn.

Perhaps that is the point. Perhaps the challenge is not about what needs to be done… but in how I do it?

The bottom line is that I, and the light bulb have made a deal. Where I use awareness as a tool to change habits throughout my later life… I will now incorporate it into the plan to make sure that I change my whole outlook on the challenges that lie ahead of me this month. This time the awareness will be the page-turner bringing me closer than ever to the next chapter.

I don’t know what that chapter is going to be… but armed with the tools that I see in front of me I am absolutely sure, as all chapters have been up until now, it will be better than the last.

Bring it on.

Be Happy. Be Well. Be.

That doesn’t mean that a day like today needs to have been a bad one. Twist logic or look to the benefits of challenge and you will find a way to realize that the days where struggle is a friend (I’m not always happy with my friends, are you?)… These are usually the days that we remember as turning points or lessons learned.

Some days I like school. Some days not so much.

Today I wasn’t so sure I wanted to learn a lesson. My best laid plan saw my day being an easy one. It is a signal when I start to feel sorry for myself or start to plot the way I think things should go… or how I can escape.. that I am back in self-will or having a pity party because I am NOT doing what I have committed to in the very nature of a surrender.

Here is the scenario: Today I heard something that wasn’t what I necessarily would have liked to have heard. I should preface this by saying it was by no means bad news. Not by a longshot. In fact, it was good news. So what’s the problem? I was not honoring my surrender…. pretty simple. The lesson for me is when I surrender the result of my day… each day… that means all results…. not just the ones that I don’t mind surrendering. That means if something is there that I might prefer (or think I prefer) over something else I accept and know that it is the result on my path. If one result isn’t there another one is awaiting, today, tomorrow or down the road.

A side effect of being in self-will and believing that a result (or anything) is not what I “want” is the mind telling me that there is something wrong that would have provided that result. I worry that I have failed in some way and that suddenly there is a negative to deal with. That is a perception that is completely created and random. It is unnecessary and harmful only to me. My path is to be different. My path is to provide another result that will give me a different experience than one that I have assumed to be the one I want.

Today provided a pivotal test in the art of surrender. I did not fail, because there is no complete success.. only experience through practice. I regressed for a while (all the time slowly becoming aware that this was happening) and then remembered that I had made the commitment to accept the decisions and results that were offered. To know and to continue to learn is the part of the surrender that I will chalk up as the success today. I knew I was in a surrender, I knew I was pulling back my own will and I arrested the behavior and jumped back to the reality of what my surrender is about.

Life isn’t always going to be a picnic (or the perception of a desired result.) Life isn’t always even going to be fun in the moment. Life should be educational and a constant growth process… and sometimes that can actually be the fun. I am proud of what has happened today.

Be Happy. Be Well. Be.

The art of surrender and the path towards the attempts for breaking of habits is filled with potholes and diversions. Each day can be a challenge and a field trip in acute awareness. It should not be a negative journey… not by a longshot. It can and should be a practice in discovery and adventure. It can be some of the better days in the life experience as a result of living on a higher plane. Being aware of the things you are doing, saying, reacting to and being is a magnificent way to learn how to honestly live in the moment.

Living in the moment has always been very difficult for me. I am a Pisces. We dream. We are forever in some form of fantasy or another. I am always planning and plotting. What will I do later? Where would I rather be? How will I get there? When is it going to happen? By moving ahead in any way, shape or form I am successfully pissing away the moment. I lose sight of what is around me and what could even be potential pieces of a puzzle that would answer the very daydreams I am conjuring up.

There are tricks in surrender and the ultimate goal of changing behavior and habit. I cannot claim that they are always successful but the fact is if one is working well with living in the moment and becoming aware enough of the world around them (and their reaction to it) there is a great success rate. Even if one does not do what is best for the success towards a goal, it is the awareness that allows us to accept the mistake or regression and move on very quickly. Mistakes need never be detrimental unless dwelled upon, thus letting go or giving up on the challenge. Mistakes are a part of the process.

Creating honest, real characters that present the better parts of your personality will always provide a better reaction from others as well as a better feeling about yourself. This is not about creating false characters. People can sense a fraud very easily. Anyone with the strength to change habits or work through surrender has a personality that is going to shine. If there has been anger or resentment I would be willing to bet that this willingness for self-improvement means the negative was the habit while the positive is the reality.

Confidence is a true positive. Believe in yourself and the things you can and will do. Confidence builds confidence builds confidence. Doubt is a deal-breaker. If I doubt that I am able to be or do anything I will probably not be or do it. If I believe that I am able to walk through fears, habits, changes and challenges… I will. I have done this before and I am going to do it again. Even if the process is an endless cycle until there is an honest result providing success and happiness… It is worth it 100%.

Today I felt confidence from the moment I awoke. I knew it was going to be a busy day but I decided that throughout it would be nothing but successful. This knowledge does not guarantee that end result… but even if something wasn’t what I might have wanted the confidence was all that was necessary. In the end I felt good. That is success. The true definition of surrender is to stay out of the result… today I can honestly claim a victory in that arena. I am not concerned about the future. I am oddly free of expectation. I am not a fool, I know that is not how the world will look with each waking day. I am reminded, however, that it is possible… and how I can get there.

Be Happy. Be Well. Be.

There are people in the world that do not embrace change. It is a challenge and a roadblock to a pattern that provides comfort and shelter. I am not one of these people, as much as it seems some may think.

… and I’m fine with that because I can only continue to do my best out there in the world and within myself. But there lies the rub… because there is a world out there that is not always going to understand, see, or even care that this is the case. I get that, and again because I have learned that others reactions to me is more about themselves, I accept.

The fact remains that we are given pivotal signs in our paths that provide us with the clues, information or outright knock over the head that there is something that can or should be done. With most, that does not mean the sign will be heeded. For many it will not even be seen. For weeks now I have seen things that have been screaming at levels that are hard to ignore. I examine, I consider and I wonder and weigh the possibility of such signs. What do they mean? What could they mean? What do I want them to be about?

Some would tell you that the first thought is the correct one. The trick is to know what that first thought was before the mind over-analyzes everything that follows. Fortunately I am well aware of what my instincts are saying and it is strangely becoming more realistic and less scary to consider the leap that should and will be made.

I love change. I have shifted my very existence on at least five different parts of my life. I have altered my life to the point of referring to myself in past tense… as if two separate human beings were being discussed. I have altered jobs by firing myself and trusting the experience would guide me towards a different and more enlightening chapter (which has always been the case.) I have moved in complete sweeps of all that I know. I have experienced deaths that have shifted my very core as a living soul on a planet that will never fully give you what you expect.

One of those shifts is upon me. I am not complete with the decision of timing … or if the decision will be mine at all. But it is in my sights. I have seen the signs and have read them correctly. I am excited. Because although some may not see it… I love change because it keeps me on my toes.

Bring it on. I’m ready. I am not sure that I could be any more ready.

Be Happy. Be Well. Be.