The art of surrender and the path towards the attempts for breaking of habits is filled with potholes and diversions. Each day can be a challenge and a field trip in acute awareness. It should not be a negative journey… not by a longshot. It can and should be a practice in discovery and adventure. It can be some of the better days in the life experience as a result of living on a higher plane. Being aware of the things you are doing, saying, reacting to and being is a magnificent way to learn how to honestly live in the moment.

Living in the moment has always been very difficult for me. I am a Pisces. We dream. We are forever in some form of fantasy or another. I am always planning and plotting. What will I do later? Where would I rather be? How will I get there? When is it going to happen? By moving ahead in any way, shape or form I am successfully pissing away the moment. I lose sight of what is around me and what could even be potential pieces of a puzzle that would answer the very daydreams I am conjuring up.

There are tricks in surrender and the ultimate goal of changing behavior and habit. I cannot claim that they are always successful but the fact is if one is working well with living in the moment and becoming aware enough of the world around them (and their reaction to it) there is a great success rate. Even if one does not do what is best for the success towards a goal, it is the awareness that allows us to accept the mistake or regression and move on very quickly. Mistakes need never be detrimental unless dwelled upon, thus letting go or giving up on the challenge. Mistakes are a part of the process.

Creating honest, real characters that present the better parts of your personality will always provide a better reaction from others as well as a better feeling about yourself. This is not about creating false characters. People can sense a fraud very easily. Anyone with the strength to change habits or work through surrender has a personality that is going to shine. If there has been anger or resentment I would be willing to bet that this willingness for self-improvement means the negative was the habit while the positive is the reality.

Confidence is a true positive. Believe in yourself and the things you can and will do. Confidence builds confidence builds confidence. Doubt is a deal-breaker. If I doubt that I am able to be or do anything I will probably not be or do it. If I believe that I am able to walk through fears, habits, changes and challenges… I will. I have done this before and I am going to do it again. Even if the process is an endless cycle until there is an honest result providing success and happiness… It is worth it 100%.

Today I felt confidence from the moment I awoke. I knew it was going to be a busy day but I decided that throughout it would be nothing but successful. This knowledge does not guarantee that end result… but even if something wasn’t what I might have wanted the confidence was all that was necessary. In the end I felt good. That is success. The true definition of surrender is to stay out of the result… today I can honestly claim a victory in that arena. I am not concerned about the future. I am oddly free of expectation. I am not a fool, I know that is not how the world will look with each waking day. I am reminded, however, that it is possible… and how I can get there.

Be Happy. Be Well. Be.

This boils down to perception and a reminder that I cannot control most things in my life (outside of choice.) People love to suggest what you should be doing and how things should be. For the most part these suggestions are honest and sincere. They are welcomed and since I would never claim perfection, sometimes necessary. But they are not the definition of my character. They are not an illustration of who I am. They are often snapshots in a very large and often crowded collage filled with pieces that build a whole. I rather doubt that anyone can claim perfection (and we all know all who do are usually a bit oblivious to reality anyway.)

In knowing who I am I must always look for ways that I can improve. Change is a luxury and a willingness that will provide a bigger and better palate to help further define my life canvas. If my world were a mural it would be a very diverse and interesting one. I have been through many things… some that I considered deal breakers, some that have made me aware of a spiritual guidance. Everything blends from one scene to the next… many things showing up in different forms and colors throughout the ongoing work of art. It is all very colorful with smatterings of darkness that always presents itself with an indication of a light ahead.

What people see is not always an accurate representation. Nobody can be the same person each and every day without being disingenuous to some degree. Perhaps, however, a little bit of a “cover” is necessary from time to time. An acting job to represent yourself in some places or with certain people in order to make sure that the patterned world is kept in line. I can create characters and have done so many times throughout my life.

But sometimes it is not my character that may need to be changed.

I have worked very hard to build a life and lifestyle lined with karmic thought and sincerity in action. I am honest and I am committed to the work and relationships that I have within my daily life. In my personal life I have maintained a very gracious and admirable persona. I am honorable, and I am sought for advice, help, guidance and friendship. I am helpful and always honest (there is no reason for me to lie…) I do what is in front of me and I am helpful because I believe through life lessons that one must “give it away to keep it”. I am not acting in my personal life unless somebody hands me a script. I am what I am and that person is happy and well-adjusted. I have tried it other ways and they did not work.

I wonder sometimes if there are times in my work world that produce a behavior that I am not happy with if the change is something that should be required within or if, in fact, I should ask myself if it is not the environment where the reaction is produced? I sometimes wonder why some places do not examine the stresses of a workplace and provide some form of training or sensitivity program to acknowledge what could be dealt with in different ways. For some it may be easier to look to the employee as the issue but, in fact, it may be important to recognize the situation as well. I do not and will not absolve myself from any behavior I produce. I do not point fingers nor do I wish to do anything but walk through any piece of my being that is not working 100% to my liking. One must walk through to resolve, any sidestepping would only result in the issue reappearing in other ways or places. But if I am to be the soul reason for something that must be recognized I am forced to ask myself if I am better off finding a situation that would not produce the stresses in the first place… or should I say “abundance” of stresses.

In July I am examining my future. I know who I am and there is nothing to be ashamed of. Every person is different. Every person handles life (and stress) differently. But there is no reason I should be defined by mistakes. I am not willing to be afraid of them or to feel that is what people will see in me. If it is, that would be a perception I have no control over… but it would also be an incorrect one. To try and avoid mistakes is like walking on a landmine. If I had avoided the mistakes of my past I would not have become the person I am today.

I suppose the difference today is in learning that I am not willing to allow others to define my character. It is a rising in personal strength and a reminder that I am a hell of a lot better and stronger than I have given myself credit for in the past. I know who I am, I know my motives and intentions. I am absolutely comfortable with it all.

Be Happy. Be Well. Be.