Every year or so I remind myself and anyone within earshot (or blogshot?) of the book that always brings me back to the basics that define a recipe for the best me possible. It is a simple tome…. a basic text… and an easy read.

Written by Don Miguel Ruiz and published for the first time in 1997, it is a book about how to live. It is a book with four basic “rules” for living. It is a book I have read no less than 20 times, have on my ipod and have purchased no less than 35 copies to give to people in my life. It is a message and I “spread” it because it means something to me, as do those I am handing it to. Whether they read it or not is not my business… but the message is there if and when they should ever decide to take a look.

Out of respect to the law and copyright I will not reprint any more than what the agreements are. But once they are within your consciousness you will understand that there is power to living with this sort of logic.

Be Impeccable With Your Word: Speak with integrity. Say only what you mean. Avoid using the word to speak against yourself or to gossip about others. Use the power of our word in the direction of truth and love.

Don’t Take Anything Personally: Nothing others do is because of you. What others say and do is a projection of their own reality, their own dream. when you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won’t be the victim of needless suffering.

Don’t Make Assumptions: Find the courage to ask questions and to express what you really want. Communicate with others as clearly as you can to avoid misunderstandings, sadness, and drama. With just this one agreement, you can completely transform your life.

Always Do Your Best: Your best is going to change from moment to moment; it will be different when you are healthy as opposed to sick. Under any circumstance, simply do your best, and you will avoid self-judgment, self-abuse, and regret.

There now. I am reminded. I am rejuvenated. I am re-aligned. This is the shot of medicine that always shows me the proper path. That is the path that I both deserve and desire to be upon. When I am on it I see clearly and the road ahead is clear.

Thank you, Don Miguel…. once again.

Be Happy. Be Well. Be.

They say that all the world is an actor. Some are definitely better at that job than others. But some, you could say, are amazingly good without even knowing…

How convincing are you at showing the world and the people around you on a daily basis that you are who you want them to see you be? I’d say I am getting much better at it… but underneath… there is another personality.

The angry guy.

Some days both of these people converge and become one. Other days I am succeeding in the common overtaking of the negatives and the anger seems irrelevant… and out of sight.

What is important for me, however, is not in hiding the anger… or denying it exists. We are human and it would be unhealthy to not recognize that the world around us is going to present us with people, situations and frustrations that are less than stellar. On good days I am able to work through these things. I am able to allow the frustrations to brush right through me knowing full well they aren’t really about me at all.

If only I were that healthy all the time.

The true ZEN in character comes in acceptance of ones-self. Those who truly know who they are can be and probably are the most well-adjusted in their worlds and around other people. More and more in my world I am able to find myself happy and look at the irritants as tiny little challenges throughout the course of a day. Let’s face it… most of what bothers us is repetitive. We’ve been there before. We’ve been angry at them and dwelled on the negative often shifting our entire psyche into a new direction… which could very well continue down that path throughout a day. The true accomplishment in character is recognition of the irritant, awareness that its effect is only damaging to YOU and then moving on down the path that aids and benefits us.

More important, however, is to acknowledge that those challenges do exist. I remember when I was young in sobriety I thought the ultimate goal was to get rid of fear and anger. I’ll fight it, I said. I kill it and be anger and fear free. That will happen… when I am dead. Finally I figured out that I should probably concentrate on goals and accomplishments that suited living people…. and the fact remains that fear and anger are a part of all our lives whether or not we want them to be.

So awareness (and I talk about this a lot) is my friend. Fear and anger are not anywhere near as dangerous as I would have them be if I can look at them and remember that their effect is truly up to me. If I see something that angers me and allow it to change my mood I become angry. If I see something that angers me and put it in its proper place… I am able to move on and get the full potential out of the day ahead.

It is an exercise in priorities. It really all boils down to one of my favorite “Agreements” by Don Miguel Ruiz. “Don’t Take Anything Personally.” It reads like this: Nothing others do is because of you. What others say and do is a projection of their own reality, their own dream. When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won’t be the victim of needless suffering.

The days that I am able to put the things in front of me into perspective are the days that I am most proud of who I am in the world.

But being angry doesn’t make us a bad person… that is a vital tidbit that I believe we all tend to forget. That would be like saying that being human is not good. We have to be who we are and the world dictates that sort of emotional behavior from time to time. If I didn’t feel anger I am not sure I would be able to gauge the difference between it and love. We are confronted with pros and cons everywhere we go. To deny that the cons exist is to live half a life and not truly get to know who you are capable of being. It is a denial of self and of the growth one can receive by understanding the very natures of where the angers are coming from. Awareness and acceptance can lead to understanding if practiced regularly.

In the big picture I have ONE personality with many facets and moods. I like to think that there are days when that personality is compromised and I “become someone else”. I suppose it is easier to explain behavior or situations if we do something out of our better character. But nothing is necessarily going to ruin my existence… it doesn’t have to.

How many personalities do you have today? Get to know them… you’ll be surprised at what you might find out.

Be Happy. Be Well. Be.