I suppose that right about now you are wondering why I would want to write a blog entry about going home. For some, that could be exactly what I am talking about… but the point I am going to try and make tonight is not about going anywhere but that place or places that makes you happy.

What makes you feel alive? What really holds meaning? What brings the smile or the tears of joy? What provides fulfillment and the AHA moments? What makes you live in the moment… without trying to?

This is your “place”.

Tonight I found myself in one of my places. I am delighted and grateful to say that I have many. So much of what this life has shown me along the path has provided joy and it is almost puzzling that I wouldn’t simply put myself into these moments and situations as often as possible.

Writing is one of my places. When I write I am thinking and solving. When I put pen to paper or fingers to keys I am escaping and creating. It is a tool for growth and I know that one of my favorite ways to maintain that fountain of youth is to continuing learning and changing.

Anyone who knows anything about me would know that the physical “place” for me would be London. I am drawn there. When I first landed I knew, somehow, that I had been there before. Each time I return I am comfortable and in each moment. I can walk for miles and there are places that just make me feel about as alive as I could possibly be. My spiritual center is halfway across the Waterloo Bridge.

Music is my place as well. Although there is music surrounding me all day long… from television jingles to car radios and shuffling ipods… there is no doubt that the music I speak of is playing in certain moods and at certain times. There is a type of “place” that music provides that can transform me completely and utterly, taking me to some of the most positive and elevated experiences within this mortal coil.

But tonight’s place… the one that inspired this entry… is dance. Although I am by no means old enough to not be able to dance myself… I speak primarily of watching. There are times that I will watch young dancers moving in ways that will literally bring me to tears. Although I don’t attempt to dissect the root causes of the emotion (beyond beauty and art I could venture the tinge of sadness that I am not an 18-year-old who can move like some of these people.)

Ok. I dissected.

Dance is beautiful. Because it is movement in so many different styles, expression of character and culture… and one of the most incredible ways to tell a story I am never disappointed to visit that place. Watching some people dance solo or in partnerships can mesmerize me. Tonight I was glued to a few different kids auditioning to a show that I enjoy here in the U.S. On more than one occasion tonight I found myself moved literally to the aforementioned tears.

Does that mean I don’t want to be in that place? Absolutely not. The tears are part of the experience of happiness and the happiness is what I pursue.

So I suppose that the point of this entire entry is very simple, indeed. When I am in the places where I wonder what it is all about… the fears, the doubts, the questions, the frustrations….

… I must simply remember to go to one of my “places”.

Be Happy. Be Well. Be.

There is a lot going on in my world. It is the sort of place that is neither completely bad or completely good. There are questions and there are intuitive notions about what I should be doing and where I should be going with the next chapter of my life.

Notice how I like to refer to my life as if it were pages in a book. Let’s just say that I would prefer to believe that this book is a very thick and well written novel. Adventure with a lot of action, mystery, travel, love and special effects.

The current chapter has been running for a long time. Most definitely not the sort of reading that can be done in one sitting. There have been pieces and parcels of this chapter that could have easily segued into the next, but something has always tied the segments together and maintained the flow. But no chapter lasts forever, nothing does.

The things that are happening currently could be seen through eyes of fear or through eyes of hope and adventure. With some diliberation I have opted for the latter. It is because I am seeing things in this way that I am not thoroughly convinced that the chapter is anywhere near being finished…. but writing, and life, can be very tricky. Trains of thought and plot points can turn on a dime. It is what keeps the reading interesting. It is what makes the story flow.

When in a long chapter, however, the reader must be stimulated and want to find out what happens next. I may be the central character… and the writer of this story… but I must admit that there are many elements (if not all) that keep me ready to continue the experience and write about it day after day after day.

As I often refer to on these and other pages, however, an adventure is only what I make it. Even if it is a minute by minute awareness to choose a direction I must remember that I have an end goal in enjoying the ride. If I want to be happy it is up to me to do the work that provides the result. In knowing that I find myself in a role that not only can provide that for me… but possibly for others as well. No deed, however, is without its selfishness. If I am a foundation of a steadiness for others… at least in attempt… it is possible that who they are as a result (at least in part) may not turn around and provide me with more of what I need in return.

Kumbaya and the circle of life. Let’s see… any other really sickening song titles to add?

I suppose that my point is just that. I don’t usually gravitate to anything that slightly represents “Up With People”… but at the same time I have written of late that I choose to run (or walk swiftly) away from the negatives that can surround me. Perhaps, then, if one is not actively having to sing the song on a guitar in a field of flowers, it doesn’t necessarily have to be a bad experience. I’ll just settle for the thought counting and try to avoid singing it at all.

Besides… it’s only the notion of Kumbaya I am interested in.

Be Happy. Be Well. Be.

There is an old adage that asks: “Would you rather be RIGHT or would you rather be HAPPY.” On any certain day the answer could be different for me. The fact is that I, like so many, hold an ego that is often in need of feeding. I can be stubborn and GOD knows that I think far too much. The burden of an over-thinker is the thoughts often trip over one another and logic can sometimes be lost. Over-thinking is something that I combated in earlier years with alcohol and substances. There are days in my current world that I wish there was another alternative.

Meditation? Yoga? A long run? I am successful to a point with the first two. The third is not as efficient in its methods of clearing the never-ending stream of consciousness I am capable of. Taking a walk is often even worse… and I do love a good walk… but sometimes I can walk further than I had anticipated simply because I will think my way into hikes that produce weight loss.

So perhaps there are some benefits to over-thinking I hadn’t considered?

Back to the adage about being right or being happy. There has been a considerable amount of time in my current days that I have found myself in these long arduous ropes of words and phrases running endlessly through my head about what I need, what I want and more than likely what I don’t need and don’t want. Truth be told it is the latter two that dominate. People in my world become barriers to my freedoms and rewards. They are the problem and I am an unwitting victim (that, however, doesn’t last long because I abhor professional victims and whiners and I will quickly talk myself out of that mode… another benefit of the endless mind chatter.)

Today I am reminding myself that there is a piece of a program that I embrace on and off in my life that teaches me a way to remember that the world around me is more or less immaterial to the whole of my existence. If I do not maintain and perfect what is inside I am going to be useless to anyone or anything on the outside. What is inside is integral to the well-being of my own existence. The bottom line is that I actually do want to be happy… and do not care if I am necessarily “right”… in the end that is all relative and subjective anyway. My ego does not always require being stroked. My sense of well-being would appreciate the feeling of enjoyment in this life just as much as possible.

The idea of “principles before personalities” can mean many things. In its original meaning it came from Alcoholics Anonymous as a tradition that reminded or suggested to members to remember the program’s importance and the need for anonymity. It also reminds the reader to practice genuine humility. This is where I am going with it in this entry. For me, and perhaps more especially at this time in my life (because it is where I am) I must remember that the people around me are the personalities. The way I maintain myself would be the principles. If I practice the humility prescribed these principles will not only keep me happy but will help me to elevate my daily being… keep me steady and out of conflict either within or without of my head. If I practice this successfully the personalities will become irrelevant… and probably a lot more enjoyable in co-existence.

Enough said.

Be Happy. Be Well. Be.

I am currently on the other side of the world. It is as though my “regular” life were not in evidence. This is my bliss… a place of relaxation and de-stressing. I am in need of this far more regularly and would suggest it wholeheartedly for the reminder of a real meaning in life.

Don’t get me wrong. I love my work. It provides me purpose and, naturally, the ability to travel. I suppose the place I tend to go wrong is in over-indulgence. I have a tendency of overdosing and finding myself in states of work coma or lethargy. Balance is necessary and can often be “off”.

I am, however, soon reminded that there is a world that I belong in when I get on that plane and move myself to a new environment and routine. It is an amazing blanket of calm, cool and that joy that sometimes seems to be missing. I had been looking for that joy for a long time and I am happy to say that I am currently reminded that it does exist for me. This morning, as I prepare to depart for a new day of walking and touring in Sydney, I am staring out a window on the 25th floor at the magnificence of the Sydney Harbor. It is a clear blue sky and, from what I have checked, yet another wonderfully warm winters day.

Much like a morphine drip I find myself smiling that warm and relaxing grin. Everything is ok and it is time to get along for the ride that today will provide.

Some say that the travel just isn’t enough… that it doesn’t last long enough. I remind us all that the planning is part of the high. Make your decisions about the next place to go as soon as you arrive home from the place you have been. Research and reading will bring you towards the next adventure and that, my friends, is a high in and of itself. Traveling, whether in the actual location or in the planning stages is a stellar way to learn and practice living in the moment.

And take pictures. Always take pictures.

I am off into the beauty of the holiday travel. More to come in the days ahead.

Be Happy. Be Well. Be.

Perhaps it would be better to say that I am kick-starting a spiritual death in order to bring forth a new and better path. It is likely that this will be the same path I’ve been on but with a different focus, including new priorities and a lot less of the noise that seemed to be cluttering the airwaves within the spiritual plane I’ve been existing on for a very long time. This will not be my first death within this soul’s journey, however, as I have started over before with wild and fulfilling success. But nothing lasts forever.

I am not an overly religious. I find the state of organized religion in the world to be scary at best. Religion is used so often as a weapon and a tool for power. It is, in many cases, about anger, control and big business. It is about money and war and politics. This is not what I consider the inspired roadway to the best person I can be. It is, however, very important to others… and although I do not recommend it to those like me I would not condemn it to those who use it sincerely as I see myself with a spiritual path.

When I grew up I connected prayer to religion, thus the paragraph above… a disclaimer of sorts. I don’t want to be a religious man but there seems to be something about prayer that I have found to be intriguing and fruitful. It is a form of communication. I speak and something listens. It isn’t important to identify that something because the point for me is in the communication. That’s my turn, where meditation and even to some extent some yoga is about stopping and listening.

So why am I talking about prayer in an entry about shifting priority? I’ll get to that. Be patient.

For months of my life now I have not been the person I want to be. Even those who strive to spirituality and change in their lives are susceptible to a back-pedaling of self will. I am a man of solutions but I have been looking only at the problems and fears. It is not something that is necessarily a conscious decision and is often a product of environment and stress. But the problem is real. I am missing a lot of the joy that I feel we are all entitled to because I am focusing on the things I see as what should be. Self will runs riot.

The result of this has been an ongoing slip into mini-depressions and countless escape clauses and plans that take form in many different ways that will essentially end up being unhealthy. Awareness and good people in my life has resulted in a regrouping and a recharging of the spiritual battery. I have been to this place before and I do not fault myself for being here again. I am human and this is part of the experience. Each experience is a chance to grow and learn about how to better be the person that I am already inside…. throughout my day. The result, down the road, is the re-emergence of joy and peace in my mind. I have missed it and making the decisions that I have has already returned it.

The prayer (or prayers) will help remind me that this is a process. I am in need of help whether outwardly or within. The only important point I need to remember is to shift the priority and seek or accept that help. With it I am stronger and with strength I am more likely to stop feeling the pieces of helplessness, anger, frustration and fear that expectations and self will provide me. They are guaranteed… take a look around.

In the St. Francis prayer there is a line at the end that says “… and it is in dying that we are born into eternal life…” this is not about “dying” as much as it is about surrender. The death of something to accept the birth of something else. I am accepting the death of something within me in order to allow for the fresh start of something more powerful and fulfilling. It doesn’t matter if I’ve done this before. It doesn’t matter if I do not succeed immediately. The results are not mine to decide… that is one of the biggest points behind letting go of self-will.

The most important thing that I can note out of this is that my life will change. Change is what I have been craving. I have been trying to create the change and the answer for the change has been letting go of the result. I am done and I am ready. Bring it on.

Be Happy. Be Well. Be.