I do not hide the fact that I am a sober man. I am proud of the years that I have accumulated and all that I have learned and accomplished since my life re-started at that time over 18 years ago.

What I do not talk enough about is the major advantage that my sobriety provides me in meeting new people and making connections that aid and sooth my spirituality throughout the world… anywhere that I am traveling.

There was a time when I knew that I could find anyone I needed to find, anywhere that I went simply by walking into pubs or bars and engaging through the imbibing of spirits. Although I am definitely not knocking this as a method for finding company and conversation while learning more about myself, it was not always the slickest of outcome for me… nor was it something that I could necessarily remember in the end. From these situations I rarely would find something that I could move forward with or learn more from, whether about them or about myself. It could be fun, but it rarely proved spiritual or growth inducing. Nor, I should say, were many of these people to be life-long friends.

Today when I travel I connect through local meetings and learn about what is making people tick throughout the world. This fascinates me as time goes on in my sobriety because no matter what the type of meeting it is I attend I am never unhappy with the result. Out of it I am assured to understand the feelings from the group or many of its individuals simply by focusing on what the similarities are rather than what could be obvious differences in culture, sex, location, gender, financial setting, age or any other of a number of factors that divide us as human beings throughout the world.

There is not doubt that we are different, all of us. There is also no doubt to me that there are distinct pieces of the human puzzle that are very much the same. There are vital pieces that sometimes feel to be missing, sadness and joy, gratitude and loneliness, success and failure, faith and hope, loss and finding purpose once again. All of these are what I experience by listening and feeling what is around me. All of these are who I am and who I have been throughout my life… but especially aware of within the years of my sobriety.

What is different about me today… and changes for the better as each new day passes, is that I am looking to improve and grow. I am not happy just being… I want to be a spiritual being and look, through all these similarities, for the common ground and lesson that can be achieved and earned. It is always important to self-assess for growth. My journals, as one method, have provided me with the means towards therapy and awareness like nothing I’ve ever been able to achieve in other means. But human contact and communication is the most powerful tool of them all. Listening and knowing that you can relate to the places that people are or have been is vital to the very focus inwards that gives me my center. Sharing my strengths and weaknesses provides an acknowledgment of my humanity and allows for the possibility for others to relate as well. In this center I am operating the full machine that represents this body on the planet… wherever on the planet I may be.

Today I am finding more is similar than is different. That makes me happy, it makes me feel more a part of and it provides me with endless things to write about. This is a good cycle. A healthy way to live.

Be Happy. Be Well. Be.

This boils down to perception and a reminder that I cannot control most things in my life (outside of choice.) People love to suggest what you should be doing and how things should be. For the most part these suggestions are honest and sincere. They are welcomed and since I would never claim perfection, sometimes necessary. But they are not the definition of my character. They are not an illustration of who I am. They are often snapshots in a very large and often crowded collage filled with pieces that build a whole. I rather doubt that anyone can claim perfection (and we all know all who do are usually a bit oblivious to reality anyway.)

In knowing who I am I must always look for ways that I can improve. Change is a luxury and a willingness that will provide a bigger and better palate to help further define my life canvas. If my world were a mural it would be a very diverse and interesting one. I have been through many things… some that I considered deal breakers, some that have made me aware of a spiritual guidance. Everything blends from one scene to the next… many things showing up in different forms and colors throughout the ongoing work of art. It is all very colorful with smatterings of darkness that always presents itself with an indication of a light ahead.

What people see is not always an accurate representation. Nobody can be the same person each and every day without being disingenuous to some degree. Perhaps, however, a little bit of a “cover” is necessary from time to time. An acting job to represent yourself in some places or with certain people in order to make sure that the patterned world is kept in line. I can create characters and have done so many times throughout my life.

But sometimes it is not my character that may need to be changed.

I have worked very hard to build a life and lifestyle lined with karmic thought and sincerity in action. I am honest and I am committed to the work and relationships that I have within my daily life. In my personal life I have maintained a very gracious and admirable persona. I am honorable, and I am sought for advice, help, guidance and friendship. I am helpful and always honest (there is no reason for me to lie…) I do what is in front of me and I am helpful because I believe through life lessons that one must “give it away to keep it”. I am not acting in my personal life unless somebody hands me a script. I am what I am and that person is happy and well-adjusted. I have tried it other ways and they did not work.

I wonder sometimes if there are times in my work world that produce a behavior that I am not happy with if the change is something that should be required within or if, in fact, I should ask myself if it is not the environment where the reaction is produced? I sometimes wonder why some places do not examine the stresses of a workplace and provide some form of training or sensitivity program to acknowledge what could be dealt with in different ways. For some it may be easier to look to the employee as the issue but, in fact, it may be important to recognize the situation as well. I do not and will not absolve myself from any behavior I produce. I do not point fingers nor do I wish to do anything but walk through any piece of my being that is not working 100% to my liking. One must walk through to resolve, any sidestepping would only result in the issue reappearing in other ways or places. But if I am to be the soul reason for something that must be recognized I am forced to ask myself if I am better off finding a situation that would not produce the stresses in the first place… or should I say “abundance” of stresses.

In July I am examining my future. I know who I am and there is nothing to be ashamed of. Every person is different. Every person handles life (and stress) differently. But there is no reason I should be defined by mistakes. I am not willing to be afraid of them or to feel that is what people will see in me. If it is, that would be a perception I have no control over… but it would also be an incorrect one. To try and avoid mistakes is like walking on a landmine. If I had avoided the mistakes of my past I would not have become the person I am today.

I suppose the difference today is in learning that I am not willing to allow others to define my character. It is a rising in personal strength and a reminder that I am a hell of a lot better and stronger than I have given myself credit for in the past. I know who I am, I know my motives and intentions. I am absolutely comfortable with it all.

Be Happy. Be Well. Be.