No life is perfect.  I write about looking at the world through positive eyes but it is not always the easiest way to exist.  There are days that I honestly must admit that I seem to feel more comfortable in the over-exaggerated and imaginative scenarios of doom and gloom that come from any number of sources… such as lack of communication, too much work, vague aches and pains or perhaps just a general burn out and desire to experience different facets of life before things wrap up.  Let’s face it:  everyone has bad days and bad moods.

One thing I have learned, however, is that the mood lasts about as long as I allow it to.  If the pouting and crabbiness is feeling good then it is probably not going to be replaced by the more productive and better resulting positives until the light bulb goes off and the temporary dis-ease is placed aside.   I have also proven to myself over and over that absolutely everything will pass… simply by having written in journals for so many years.  The trick is to read  back in the passages of the past and recognize that whatever might have been an issue is undoubtedly something you’ve since conquered and probably learned from as well.  Life can sometimes have the appearance of being “worse” or perhaps feel a bit less than it used to be (one there is glamorization of any piece of a place one once was…) but the adventure of a life is to look at the path and recognize each and every step … good and bad… as a step in the right direction.

Even the steps that aren’t “right.”

One of my favorite shows for several years now is a reality program called The Amazing Race.  It is a fast paced and clue-ladden time trial filled with two-member teams and all manner of puzzles, physical and mental feats and challenges that frustrate and push the contestants while racing around the world from city to glorious city.

It sounds like life, doesn’t it?  Except for the city to city part?

Everyone looks for a purpose in their life.  For some it becomes the continuous question.  We try things and we determine that we want more.  We try other things and we determine that we want different.  For some it is kismet and the chosen relationships and careers are exactly where they belong.  For me there have been many different “chapters” that lead to the place that I currently inhabit.  Each chapter was colorful and provided its own set of challenges and lessons.  Each chapter ended with a step down the path towards something new and “better” because of the progress made personally.  Life is a classroom and I am a student.

But some chapters tend to last a little longer than others and I have found myself in a very long one.  The internal struggle would be to ask myself whether or not it is necessary to be looking for a closing in order to start the next passage.  Some people would kill for the familiarity and routine that I have had within the same home and job.  But there are parts of me that feel that I am giving too much of myself to this chapter and not allowing for another to be given an opportunity.  So, considering that we know that no chapter, no book, no situation … no life lasts forever, I look towards my familiar positives to pull myself back into the moment (in whatever chapter I am in) and use it as a tool for the growth within the chapter or towards the next.

If I sulk and fall into that comfortable negative space I will miss too much.  There are treasures out there… challenges that provide results.  Clues that will be missed if I am not paying attention.  It is a world filled with reality… the original reality show.  The only way for me to enjoy the space I am in and to proceed spectacularly into the next sentence, paragraph, page or book is to uncover the treasures that I am taking for granted day to day.  YES, there are things that I aspire to be doing.  Yes, there are things that I am doing that I aspire to be doing better… or more… but the fact remains that I am in the only chapter that I can be in.  This is my life and it’s probably best that I make the best of it.

.. but I really wouldn’t mind being on the Amazing Race and travel around the world on adventures… and it doesn’t have to be the TV show. 

Be Happy.  Be Well.  Be.

Although I am not necessarily an egghead I am aware that I have a high IQ and a penchant for facts and trivia.  As a worker I am deeply organized and detailed.  I am thorough, punctual and can be counted on to provide a full and efficient output to any project or piece that falls upon my desk.

The pros in this sort of ethic and smarts is that you are trusted and well-respected.  The con is that there is always going to be an expectation and … there is often more than your fair share handed to you simply because you are capable.  But it is not necessarily an example of left brain thinking alone… for me it is a clever combination of both left and right brain motives and output.

And this is why:

The traits of the left brain are described as being logical and sequential, analytical, rational, objective and to look at all parts.  The trait of the right brain is thinking randomly, intuitively, creatively, subjectively and to look at wholes.  In combining the best of both the result is a often well researched, well presented, easily understood, and pleasing to the senses.

I do incorporate the right brain talents I know I was born with into the more analytical pieces of what I do for a living.  The scores of lists and documentations of proposal, justification, comparison and analysis blend well with the strategy and brainstorming, the copywriting and design aesthetic…  In the world that I work this is a great marriage for a successful and satisfying challenge on a daily basis.

But even though I use the right brain to aid in the work that I do for a living… I pursue the right brain endlessly in a balance to keep myself as the whole that I was born to be.  Oddly enough what I am doing for a living is not what I truly feel I was meant to do as that “purpose” I feel we all have.  For me, the creative gene is the dominant one and the writing I have done daily for decades is the reason I am still alive and ticking.

Will it ever pay my bills?  This is a question I had always asked.  Personally I believe there is every reason to believe it will.  I know that it is something I would want for my life… a lifestyle where the writing is the core point to my living and not the balance.  In truth I have learned that if I believe positively in the things that I pursue I am always going to achieve them.  This has been my experience.  I am also aware that the path I am on is not always by design or choice.  Some of these things that I know I will achieve may not happen for me when it is that I would prefer them to happen.  Many happen far down the road.

But they do happen.

Within the next couple of weeks I will be pitching a television series treatment to an executive with a showrunner in mind.  I have cultivated an idea and written the treatment and I am very proud of the result.  I have a few more pieces to the puzzle that I want to fine tune before the pitch is set… but I am absolutely certain that I am going to be ready with an idea that I believe is as marketable as absolutely any scripted program on the airwaves today.

Within the next week I am going to be doing my right brain exercises to build out and summarize the first five episodes of the pitch… I have the concept, characters, summary, logline, tagline and treatment all prepared.  The only piece left is to illustrate a few of the reasons that all the aforementioned parts are going to evolve and cultivate into a winning series.

The exercise of the right brain is what makes me smile… so I expect a lot of ear to ear activity within the next week.  Who knows…  this could be something that changes the path.  It could spark me and lead me down another path.  Whether it be for this concept or another in the future is almost irrelevant.  What is important is the journey I am on to present myself with the solutions that writing and creating offer.  When I am writing I am not only in the moment… I am happy.

Happy, if  you’ve read me before, is the goal.

Be Happy.  Be Well.  Be.

Perspective is necessary. It is vital. It is rewarding and relieving. It is realistic next to the extremes of fantasy and fear. It is like a little bit of meditation, a good relaxing walk or the result of a good night’s sleep. Perspective is truth… it’s that AHA moment when you climb down from the perch of ego or overwhelm. It is a bit of light at the end of a dark tunnel (even if you were not aware of the lighting at all.) Perspective is an answer to so many of life’s onslaught of questions. It is that place that you find yourself in when routines are broken and priorities are shifted. It can be and often is bliss and a deep breath. It is the reminder of the real reason you enjoy your life and don’t have to put so much stock in the things that tend to put a wall up from that enjoyment.

So why the lecture on perspective? Is there something that I would need to be letting go of? Those who know me would understand that I am a thinker and that would normally be the tendency.. a lot of times when there is too much to do or be it is natural for a soul to find refuge in the creation of consequence. I am solution oriented. This sort of thought process is my blessing because it allows me to be the person I truly am… but understand my limits and be uber-aware of how to see both sides of all of my stories and situations. Although that makes the life I live sound slightly dramatic and tiring… it is more than that. It is better because I am forever learning how to be alive… to step in forward directions… to seek answers (and to know when the answers are not real.) I love the challenges that I am given and the lessons that are provided as a result.

But I also love the moments of perspective… where I am able to smile and remember that between every roller-coaster ride it is a good idea to stop and take a few good, healthy deep breaths.

One of the most powerful tools in my life has been the journal. Writing daily for the many years that I have has provided me the record of my life, emotions, events, joys and dramas. Most importantly, however, is the true documentation of perspective that they offer. While today I am looking at a period of stress (while working to manage it both inwardly and outwardly), outside challenges (yes, Mercury is in retrograde and I have deadlines that deal with technology and communication) and the questions of tomorrow… I need only look into my journal from a year, two years, three or more ago to see that without the shadow of a doubt: what seems so important today is not. What feels so stressful is not. What looks slightly fearful is not.

Perspective.

Today is the Fall Equinox. It is a beginning. The start of my favorite time of the year. I adore the fall. I adore the fact that the summer is over. I love that the temperatures will change and the air will get crisp. I look forward to wearing a jacket and using blankets in bed. I am thrilled that TV is chock filled with enjoyable escapisms. No matter what appears to be brewing on the horizon I am going to be fine and when I read about it all in the future I will confirm that.

And that, my friends, is why I thought I should talk about perspective again. It’s a shot of adrenalin and a breath of fresh air.

Be Happy. Be Well. Be.

So what brought this on? Well… the most common sense path for me towards happiness is the knowledge that my life is a classroom. I have always been a student with a desire to retain and excel. On the days that I am learning, growing, achieving and creating I am alive and the “trudging” is nowhere near noticeable. On the days that I am stagnant or held back it becomes obvious that I am potentially “stuck in the mud.”

That would be what I define as “trudging.” An arduous and difficult slower moving progression towards a goal or destination. Right?

I have always had this image of trudging as a chore. I picture thick mud and army boots trying to push through and sometimes becoming stuck. This, to me, is an obvious image of struggle and hardship that “trudge” would seem to paint. But then I ask myself why trudging should be a negative? Life is a path we walk through. Hopefully the path is clear more than it is not. Definitely there are forks in our road and sometimes there are complete blocks or detours. But no matter what it is that happens to us on the journey we are proceeding in some direction. Each direction is for a purpose and every step is a guided and important lesson to something that has been or will be… IF we are paying attention.

Some days the classroom gives me clear direction and the path is brightly lit. I know where I am going and I am rather happy to be making that journey. It seems obvious and positive and obvious can provide a sense of accomplishment, faith, incentive and sometimes a touch of adrenalin. These are the days where the happiness goal is not one that would need to be sought…. why seek when you are already there? Wouldn’t that mean one was not living in the moment (often a stellar recipe for the happiness goal in and of itself…)?

So it is the days when the conscious or unconscious mind is telling me that I am NOT happy that I am finding myself looking up a darker and slightly more confusing path. I will step cautiously and guide my way through weeds and subterfuge because I want to make my way back to that happily lit path that is most comfortable. THIS could be a defined moment of “trudging” as well as many other scenarios… losses of faith or feelings of depression or that aforementioned stagnancy that tends to tell a tired mind that there is nothing that can be done.

But sometimes that trudging can be the most productive of my growth periods. Sometimes it is the best and most prolific sort of classroom. Who said that life was easy? Who said the path would be that gorgeous yellow brick road? Why wouldn’t the challenges and stop signs that inhabit and line every path out there be the places that I can learn the most.

Then it occurred to me… that this is exactly what has happened for me in many of my previous chapters. Each time the path got difficult and the journey felt like the boots were stuck in the mud… I found myself in re-direction and change that only helped to guide me towards the better direction on the path. Invariably I found my yellow brick road once again and each time there was different and better scenery to look at. It has become obvious to me that my path evolves as much as I allow myself to evolve. What I see as the destination today may not necessarily be the best place for me to go. If I allow myself the willingness to stop and review from time to time… taking in all the signs and messages that I see and hear along the way I am going to realize that the destination is revealed, like puzzle pieces or a treasure hunt… slowly and in their own time.

So although I would hardly say that I am in the mud these days… (although I am also not currently wearing the comfortable fluffy slippers either) I am doing a bit of trudging as I realize that I am in a place in my path where some destination options are starting to reveal themselves. I don’t see them all yet but I know they are there. For me it is important to make sure that I wait until everything at this juncture is in full view and then evaluate for as long as it is necessary to make the choice of which extension on the path to follow.

And there are no “wrong” choices. Just consequences to decisions… both good and bad.

Whatever the path will provide I am excited and genuinely electric about the possibility. Trudging or gliding effortlessly I am here for the ride and the lessons that will accompany.

Be Happy. Be Well. Be.

I am most definitely not alone in stress department. One doesn’t have to be insanely busy to experience the tensions of modern life. Even though stress is most obvious in a work-a-day world… where deadlines and demands are the common denominator… it lives in the simplest of every day events and thoughts. It is about whether we can do this or whether that is going to happen. It is about watching the news or listening to people hate upon each other because, it would seem, that is the only way for the world to communicate these days. It is about whether something can be afforded… or thinking too much of the future. It is about wondering if you are able to live up to a potential or the more than often incorrect feeling that you are going to be discovered as a fraud. It is about moving to a new place while leaving familiarity behind. It is about starting a new routine or not knowing what your routine is going to be. It is about loss. It is about too much gain. It is about overwhelm… it is about not enough. Stress is potentially in everything and lives everywhere….

Including the paragraph above…. because I don’t know about you but it certainly stressed ME out.

There was time in my life that I dreaded stress. I thought it represented a “period” of time and that there were certain indicators or triggers that started the process. Naively I would suspect that when I wasn’t too busy at work or feeling the anxieties of one thing or another … that meant I was not stressed.

Then I learned.

Stress is emotional. Stress is hereditary. Stress is about personality and pre-disposition. Stress IS. I have been stressed out on holiday, while sleeping, getting massages and during sex (whoops… too much information?) Stress is something that has been a piece of who I am for as long as I can remember. Not until I realized it, however, did I discover that it isn’t going away… so I had to befriend it and put it to work for me… and not against me. I needed to capitalize on the positives of stress (What? There are positives?) and make sure that the benefits took over and started to outweigh the negatives.

Keeping this in mind I also learned by taming or (dare I say) controlling my stress I was able to start becoming LESS stressed out. At first I wondered if that would be possible… or if I would be the one that would find myself in a stressful way as I tried to create the habits of making the evident and malleable tensions that color my personality work for me. Idiosyncratic, eh? Getting stressed out about dealing with stress sounds like being in a rush in traffic so you can get to yoga. It doesn’t tend to work together. But we all know that habits have to be created in a series of repetitive actions and the period of creation is often uncomfortable and almost counterproductive.

Definitely frustrating.

But once a soul realizes that there is power in anything you put your mind to you can take the world around you and use it. Today I see the flaws that surround me… and I understand them. They are perfect… and they are imperfect. They are a bit of what I don’t want to be and a bit of either who I am or who I have been. Removing the judgment allows me to concentrate on the positives that are involved in the simplest and most complex pieces of my daily experience.

You have no idea how hard it is to recognize the stresses in driving a car in Los Angeles traffic and stop yourself from letting it matter. That habit involves a constant reminder that you do not “need” to be anywhere any quicker and that the people who are doing all these ill-fitted and inane moves all around you are blips on the radar in the grand scheme of who you are or who you would intend to be. Stop. Breathe. Keep driving with a smile. It is amazing how much that smile will work. It often turns into a laugh…. and before you know it you are at your destination… with less stress than you would ever have expected.

In my world I have never quite been a victim… but without knowing it we can allow ourselves to be victimized by the stresses and the more “powerful” personalities in the world around us. That isn’t necessary and to combat one does not have to become louder or more obnoxious than the next guy. Instead you must use what is in your life to your best benefit. All of it. The place you live, the weather of the day, the mood of the people around you, your job, your education, your desire to learn, your need to rest and relax. All of it should be seized in order to maximize the potential of the adrenalin within it.

Stress as a motivator.

Everything is potential if you want it to be so.

Be Happy. Be Well. Be.

I speak of my life as book. Personally I think everyone’s life is some sort of tome. We live in phases and periods. We grow and we change… we have adventures and live through joy and pain, the world around us morphing in grand or sometimes very ambiguous ways. Life can move quickly.. or seem not to move at all… but it is always distinct in its similarities to a book. There is a beginning, a “middle” and always an end. Sometimes the story is magnificent and exciting, others simple and repetitive. There are love stories and there are Dickensian dramas. Most of the books, like the lives, will hold many different phases, or chapters that mark the many ways we develop. Sometimes books will end abruptly… seemingly without a fair or understandable conclusion… but the story (and the book) must end.

Unless of course you are a vampire.

My book has been filled with chapters. I am a master of re-invention and each incarnation has brought about a different state of mind or environment. Like a staircase I would seem to be on a path, the core being or “soul” being the center of the story… but the character dons different costumes and personalities on the path up to the top, or finish of the book. It is always an upward movement, with occasional steps down the staircase sometimes intentional, others because that is what life will do.

Some chapters can transition or overlap each other depending on the master focus. My current chapter could have started in part when I moved into my current home in West Hollywood over 15 years ago. I would say it shifted completely when I began working for SONY 12-1/2 years ago. What has happened in this, one of my longer chapters has come in sections… some of them documenting amazing and rewarding opportunity and growth…. others feeling like stagnant and uneventful periods (which in hindsight one should always be grateful for… the lack of drama is a fortunate thing!)

Around me today is the air of difference. In less than a month’s time I will be moving to a new environment within my work world. I am feeling personal changes and growth within me as well. There is every reason to believe that a chapter is coming towards its end… or, at the very least, a transition or “section” is in effect. All around me I am vitally aware that absolutely nothing in my world is “business as usual”. I am shifting how I do things and, how I think. I am exhilarated by this swirling vortex…. I love the idea that things are going to be different. I am an optimist. I don’t tend to look at change as anything but a positive. My experience in the book I am living has been one of major and significant growth with every change I have opened my mind to in all aspects of my life. Where I have struggled or held back I have faltered… but only as long as it took to realize that fear holds me back and does not play to my advantage.

Where do I go from here? I have learned to allow the swirling take me. Every evidence proves that too much of my own hand in the process of change is not necessarily the best way to write the book. I have dreams and it is ALWAYS suggestible to take steps and work hard while focusing on things that you want to happen… but I know that more opportunity in all parts of my world have been afforded by playing along and going for the ride until there is a point that is recognizable as the destination. Once there… continue to keep that mind WIDE open and remember: the ride does not stop until you stop it.

I enjoy a good ride.

In the weeks ahead I will be talking about the chapter that I am living in and how it is either wrapping or moving into a new section or direction. It is all about the way I think and how I react to absolutely everything I see, hear, say, breathe and … write.

I am convinced that I am walking swiftly up the staircase at this time. I feel positive and I am experiencing the happiness that I am always chasing. Have I caught it? I’m not sure that is every going to completely be the case. Personally I am motivated by the chase…. as long as the chase is not one of desperation and UNhappiness.

But I will say the book continues to be very interesting. At least to me.

Be Happy. Be Well. Be.

What is the key to happiness? Every so often I believe I have that key and I am able to illustrate what it looks and feels like. Sometimes I lose the image due to temporary memory loss or insanity… and when I am lucky enough to find it again the picture is never really quite the same. The loss is usually as a result of inner-anger, frustration or some form of DIS-ease that comes from being a human in an all-to-fallible world. For years (especially since I have been sober) the idea of these ‘resentments’ being the problem has been drummed into my head endlessly as if there were some quick, easy way to package them and send them merrily on their way. I know… let’s just “get rid” of our resentments!

I’ve had resentments with people who think that is easy. How about you?

When (and if) I do find this quick solution I shall bottle it, sell it for minimal amounts and find myself retired the joyful life one dreams of when in resentment. Sounds a bit like a vicious cycle, doesn’t it? Why? My guess is because it is.

I suppose the first thing that I might teach myself about the fact that resentments are not something I can instantly rid myself of… (like fear) is that awareness and classification is key to resolving. Resenting the resentment is not going to do me any good…. but recognizing that it is there is going to tip me off to the existence of the problem and point me towards the ultimate solution(s) in order to achieve the increasing moments of satisfaction, contentment and JOY.

Forgive the resentment.

Actually I can do that. I have done that. I find myself with ordinary situations and silly things making me want to send snarky answers and negative vibes and realize that the source of what I am interpreting (for whatever reason) as a problem has nothing whatsoever to do with the resentment I am ‘acting out within my head’ at all.

Stop. Forgive. Review. Laugh. Yes, laugh. That’s my next step. Because laughter is not only contagious… but if you really look at some of the things close up that you are resentful at they are sublimely ridiculous and such an utter waste of time, energy, vibe and attitude that if you didn’t laugh it might be a good idea to cry at the loss of time and energy.

This is where I might find myself resenting that I resent things. Whoa… there’s that vicious cycle. Beating myself up for doing something that isn’t going to ever NOT happen entirely is like walking up to a brick wall and pounding your head against it repeatedly…. it is futile and you will end up hurting yourself.

Laugh again. It’s funny, trust me.

The key to handling resentments is much like the key to most anything that you want to do something about… It is much like the habits I have broken in the past and will hopefully break in the future. There is repetition involved and it necessary to allow the meager mind to recognize the behavior, arrest it, laugh at it, write it down, take it out to dinner… do whatever is necessary to change the reality of the thought into something a bit more positive and less detrimental to your working thoughts. After all… it is you who is suffering from the resentment. Although there is every chance that we will do something foolish or necessary when we are in resentment… with the exercise prescribed it is also entirely possible that you will not.

Make it a game. “WHOOPS, caught another one.” Before you know it the laughing part of this is coming naturally. We can laugh at ourselves… that’s allowed. That’s actually healthy. That ends up feeling good and feeling good is what ends up making the chance for a resentment less and less.

Positive cycle.

So tomorrow when I wake up and it is humid and I hear a couple of things that I just don’t want to hear, get asked to do a few things that I may not feel I either want or should have to do and drive behind the person who is probably still asleep (in their defense… sleeping could mean they are not yet in resentment themselves..) this is when I start the exercise. Turn ON the button for the game and let the resentment trap get to work.

Before you know it you are laughing out loud and people think you are slightly nuts. But at least they don’t think you are angry or resentful.

Game won… at least for now.

Be Happy. Be Well. Be.

Ok. Not exactly what I meant. I don’t personally advocate letting people “go” if it means they will fall to their death. But sometimes it is a in our best interest… metaphorically… to let them go from your life.

First I should say that this is not an exercise in arrogance. It is not as though by letting someone go I am claiming any sort of superiority. I am no more or less of a human being on this planet than anyone else. We are all the same in foundation… but become different as a result of environment, experience, habit and choice. In varying degrees through my life I have found myself in places and situations that did not enrich me or help any part of the spiritual being I tend to spend most of my time chasing. The lessons I have learned have come rather often from holding on to people who did not belong around me.

You might ask… who am I to decide they do not belong? Who would I be if I did NOT decide that? We are all completely capable of choice. I find for me that most of the time I do not make choices out of fear of repercussions. I have come to know as years have gone on that I have the choices nonetheless. I could make them if I wanted to understand that every decision has its consequence (and that doesn’t have to be a negative.) Essentially there are no “wrong” choices… just the result of whatever it is you choose.

I have held on to unhealthy souls in my life for various reasons. Sometimes because I felt that I needed them. Sometimes because I more or less refused to see that they were toxic. Sometimes because I was toxic myself and unable to notice anyone else well enough to make such a decision (the lower companion periods.) Time and experience has changed how I see the world, the people around me and my own life. I am able to see something that isn’t working and move it away from me if for nothing else but to preserve the happiness and positive nature that I want to have within myself.

If that sounds pollyanna ask yourself how good you are to anyone else if you are not in a good place yourself. If you are an empath or not in a completely solid place in your life… anger or negatives within others will effect you detrimentally. You will soak it in like a sponge and happiness will be a word that sort of pisses you off… nothing more.

These days if someone is around just to spread their own doom and gloom… at any extreme, it is not hard to choose to move away. Especially in an age of the internet. My latest experience dealt with a woman whose very existence is to debate and rebut anything that anyone says. If you like something she will disagree because she is that person. On Saturday I wrote on an internet site that I had seen a movie that I liked. Several people came on and said they were looking forward and shared other aspects that were very positive. She decided that she would counter it all by saying she HEARD the movie was so-so. Fine. Then she needed to come back and say that she doesn’t like Tarantino. Ok. But she had to do more… she had to insist that Tarantino was overrated. I asked her to cease the negatives. She complained that she was not allowed to disagree with me. I told her… perhaps if she had actually seen the movie…. and then stopped.

This is where I began to feel her energy within me. So I put her out… on ignore. She is not important enough to me to keep around and I will be better for it. It isn’t something new… it is who she is. Now she can have eternal debates and take her “dumps” somewhere else.

And I feel better. She is not evil… I do not hate her… or even really dislike her as a person. I just don’t want to argue with her or listen to her grouse about the world and whatever is in it.

Sometimes you’ve just got to let go of negative people.

Be Happy. Be Well. Be.

If you believe enough in the possibility of it.

Right about now I expect you are all rolling your eyes and wondering if I’m going to ask us all to do yoga together after the blog reading. Where the yoga thing is not necessarily a bad idea… I would like to defend the seemingly fluffy topic of today’s blog. In fact it is a very basic form of positive thinking. I expect that anyone who has ever had the opportunity to try and make the art a habit in their lives have learned of the magnificent benefits that can be provided.

Of course “having whatever you want” doesn’t exactly sound like the most charitable of topics. It sounds fun… but slightly self-centered to say the least. I, for one, would never deny the idea of self-involvement. I am living this life in this body and it has been a goal of mine to enjoy it while I am here. I have also learned, sometimes through the right experiences and sometimes through the wrong ones, that I am a better person for and with others if I am happy myself. I expect that anyone reading this can attest to this phenomenon themselves.

So let’s break this down: What exactly does it mean that I can have whatever I want? What if I said…. “I want to be 29 again”? We all know that the world isn’t going to turn back the hands of time and provide me with that treat. For me I must ask a few questions when I am “calculating” the things I truly want.

1) Do you really want this? Have you weighed in all of the factors that would be a part of the process of getting what it is that you think you want? Have you ever heard the old saying: “Be careful what you wish for?” Are you willing to understand that there are consequences (possibly good, possibly bad) and risks involved with any choice or decision we make in our lives? For instance: I have often expressed a dream or wish to move to London (my favorite place on Earth.) What if that were to actually happen? Am I willing to accept everything that comes with that move? Currently my trips to London are always (without fail) the happiest times in my life. If I moved there, however, it would no longer be the “holiday” or dream and I could find myself in a home that isn’t what I would want it to be or a job that isn’t the best experience possible.. If I am there an not able to afford the living the way I am accustomed to in my trips I would find myself unhappy and London and invariably I would be looking for a new fantasy or dream to reach for that happiness again. Is that what I am looking for?

Granted it could be said that the move could be the BEST thing that could ever happen. Is my cup half full or half empty?

2) Keep it simple. Sometimes it is important to remember that wishing for big things involves the most risk. Perhaps If I wished in broader, and less specific ways I might stand to find the better result? What if I were to simply for happiness? Isn’t that actually a more feasible means of working towards a goal? If I ask to be happy it is pushing the possibility of a good result into better odds. Perhaps it is lowering the odds on NOT achieving or reaching an expectation. It could mean that I find a great relationship that I hadn’t counted on, or a new path in life. It could be the discovery of a pastime that brings me pleasure. Or it could mean that I move to London… with the end result would be the happiness I had asked for.

But the bottom line no matter what it is that you are thinking, daydreaming, wishing or pining for within your everyday world… you CAN have it by believing it is possible. I cannot have success in any avenue of my existence if I do not thoroughly believe that avenue to be possible. If I think I am never going to be happy there is a good chance I am going to be a grumpy, sad mess on a daily basis as a result. If I am in that negative mood on a daily basis I am not going to achieve anything but more of the same… or worse.

Hardly something I would suggest.

Today I can be honest about the things that I want in my life. I have no doubt that I will achieve each and every one of the goals I have in mind (although not necessarily when I want them.) I can firmly point to SO many of the hopes and dreams that I’ve had before as having come true for me because I KNEW they could and would. What I see ahead is more of the same. I can have whatever I want. I will share all of this with those around me.

Sounds about right to me.

Be Happy. Be Well. Be.

There are different ways to look at apathy. It is not as though I would suggest that a person have no heart or soul… that they shouldn’t bother caring about the ills of the world or the people in their lives. Not at all.

But I do wonder why there are days when I can take nearly anything that is in front of me and turn it inwards as though there were something about “it” that was an affront to my very being. What is it that causes me to feel that things are personal and that I am “owed”? Why does life have a tendency during stressful or overwhelming periods to get so intense and uncomfortable? Is it because I can care too much?

Therefore I have to ask if that is necessary.

I have a tendency of hanging around debate boards and reading about the things that are wrong with the world of politics, crime, people and places. I would love to believe that in debate there is a “right” and a “wrong” to argue… but for the most part I have discovered either everyone is right or everyone is wrong. Anger and posturing are the nature of the postings and the end result isn’t really about sharing ideas and thoughts that might enlighten… but only about making sure that you’ve cleverly told another person or persons that they are an idiot for thinking as they do. Perhaps some people DO in fact have a warped sense of the world in front of them… but I have to pull back and ask myself whether or not this is for me to decide. Isn’t it true, to an extent, that they might believe my opinions of fact to be warped just the same?

Although it is unrealistic that I can or will pull away from listening to the arguments of the day, watching or hearing the news, reading an article that condemns or simply enlightens on all the many negatives that the world LOVES to expound upon… it is possible that I can stop internalizing the deep sadness that all this darkness can tend to spread.

So I ask myself again: Do I HAVE to care so much about what the right or left is screaming about on the topic of healthcare? Beyond sensing and understanding the tragedies of the day as being a part of life, that I have either experienced (or could in the future), do I have to feel the struggle and pull of these news items?

I don’t.

I have to believe that a little bit of apathy has to go a long way towards the happiness that I am seeking on a much more regular basis. I am not going to ignore the world and where it has its tendencies to focus… but I can remember that everything that happens in a workplace, on the road, in any day-to-day experience or in my personal life… isn’t necessarily all that important. Unless, of course, I make it so.

Be Happy. Be Well. Be.